Writing all of my thoughts down here is a great relief and also helpingme to understand more of my deeper feelings. Putting my thoughts onpaper really helped me understand my desire to dress and spend more timeas Olivia.I couldn't stop putting my thoughts down into the journal and when Ifinally got to my time with Hawk I noticed that I started gettingaroused. Since I was still in my nightgown and panties I realized that Iwas in my Olivia mode and justified my feelings about being with a manlike Hawk.I started the next page about how I felt when we were at the table andHawk told me how pretty I was that morning. I remember how I tingledand wanted to smile at his compliment but I was still struggling withthe guilt I was trying to suppress.Maybe it was the champagne or just becoming comfortable as Olivia but Iactually liked the compliment and being pretty to such a handsome guy.I wrote, 'When the guys asked us to walk to the gardens with them Iactually was happy that Dani and I weren't. .. once while visiting a Robert Maplethorpe, artistic gay porn exhibition. Certain aspects of gay male sex powerfully turn her on and she 'came' in her pants while holding my hand! SINdora knew instinctively what had happened and we headed for the car and a quick finger fuck repair job for her in the dark!)With the test photos done, Paula sat on the couch near my desk, still nude, her clothes in her hand prior to dressing and going home. Before she was quite ready to leave she said, "Too bad that I hear you don't get naked with your models. Could you tell that I was having 'fun' giving you a stiff cock?" My brilliant response was, 'Uhh?' To which she added, "Oh c'mon... you couldn't see that I 'came' three times in front of you because of your hard-on? Your dick is stiff because of me isn't it?" It was hard as we spoke and she could still see it.I told her that I knew that something was UP besides me, yes she had done it to me... 'Those were orgasms? You're kidding!' She wasn't.
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